Monday, 7 June 2010

The importance of letting go

I have recently had two lessons in the importance of letting go. One which has haunted me for some past twenty six years, which I have sought to bury so deeply, that it could never be uncovered, and one which by my presence causes their distress. I don't ever want to hurt them and certainly not more than I could ever possibly know.

I have learned that digging a tiny grave and burying a part of you, does not lay the ghost to rest. It simply resides in you deeply. To grieve you must let go. To ask for forgiveness, when for all this time you cannot forgive yourself, and the others around you, who caused your pain. It takes great strength and courage. But we are never meant to carry such a burden, throughout our entire life. I have carried the screaming angry spirit of an invisible child within me for all these years, and it was killing me, trying to get out. And although I tried my best, I wanted to cradle you in my arms, in the end I simply had to let go.

And someone, who has helped me, more than they could ever possibly know. Who I love in a way, I cannot possibly express, but a love which is not selfish or blind. I must let go. For I cherish their happiness more than anything.

I will never ever forget you, not even when I'm one hundred. You will be in my prayers forever.

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